THE "GAP ORGASM" OR THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ORGASMS OF THE TWO PARTNERS

In today's sexuality, female pleasure is much more at the heart of concerns and expectations than it was before. The dialogue opens up further, the knowledge of the female body and its erogenous zones is demystified and widened even further.

And it is in this sense that we allow ourselves to observe the differences between the two sexes, not in a militant but rather preventive way. The subject is not to criticize or to protest, but to open the discussion. How to explain these differences? By taking a little distance, we can wonder if they are consequences resulting from a sexual education that was once conservative and not very liberated, where the subject of female pleasure was still hidden, taboo.

Decryption of the famous orgasmic gap.

What is the orgasmic gap?

The orgasmic gap is the difference felt between the two orgasms of the two partners during a sexual relationship .

This difference can be:

- intensity: one of the two feels more emotions, sensations.

- duration: one of the two enjoys faster.

- importance attributed to the orgasm of one or the other: the sexual relationship stops when one of the two partners enjoys.

Most often, this term orgasmic gap is used in heterosexual relationships. Thanks to studies conducted today, it is known that a straight cisgender woman would have a harder time reaching orgasm than a straight cisgender man.

It was long thought that this difference resulted from a misunderstanding of the female body , or that the woman was naturally longer in coming than the man . However, studies carried out on couples of lesbian women have shown that the majority of women do not experience any difficulty in reaching orgasm within their couple, with a female partner.

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How to explain the orgasmic gap?

The issue of sexual performance

In today's love relationships, it is very important for the couple to feel good mutual harmony , and that must include sexuality. A happy couple is a couple who must get along well in bed, who only know intense and successful moments in their sexuality. However, not everything can always be rosy in a sexuality, and the couple inevitably experiences moments of "less well", because the human is not programmed to be efficient all the time , nor in the mood to have a perfect sexual relationship, let alone always in perfect harmony with his or her partner.

As a result, 2 out of 3 women admit having already simulated an orgasm during sexual intercourse. This high percentage is a response to this pressure exerted on the couple , where the woman takes the responsibility of hiding a bad harmony which could mean that an alchemy would not be able to be created in the couple, and that it would harm their happiness. and their balance.

In reality, what harms the couple is the lack of communication between the two partners and the social pressure they experience. The best thing is to talk about these moments of "less well" , to make the one who does not manage to enjoy and the one who enjoys faster than the other feel guilty.

The ignorance of his body

The eroticization of one's own body through masturbation and self-discovery is essential for fulfillment in a sexual relationship with a partner. It is also essential to get to know each other and know what you like and what you don't like.

In some women, the fact of not having explored themselves sexually can prevent them from guiding their partner , and can prevent their partner from accompanying them towards the rise of orgasm.

From childhood, the relationship that men and women have with their sex is very different . The young girl does not dare to uncover herself and may feel ashamed of her vulva and her desire for pleasure, where the man has no trouble discovering himself much earlier than her.

At the time of sexual intercourse, if on one side or the other the relationship with one's own body is difficult, then bodily communication between the two partners may not be clear: this "bad connection", this misunderstanding does not allow not up to the couple to achieve fully shared pleasure.

When penetration has the monopoly of pleasure

Pleasure in sexuality is based on penetration and very much depends on the male orgasm. For a sexual relationship to be successful, the man must cum, and if the woman doesn't cum, it's not a big deal. We have no problem accepting it.

Another concern that leads to the orgasmic gap is clitoral stimulation left on the foreplay bench . What may be considered an appetizer by some, is actually the main course for some. Clitoral stimulation , yet an essential key to female pleasure and female orgasm, is too neglected at the time of the act monopolized by the pleasure of penetration.

If the orgasmic gap is a very concrete difference and felt as much by the heterosexual man as by the heterosexual woman, it is very often the result of misunderstanding between the couple, neglect of female pleasure, and a lack of communication between the two partners.

Rest assured. No, male pleasure is not superior to female pleasure. No, men don't find it easier to come than women. And no, the difference between the orgasms of a male partner and a female partner is not explained by their gender differences.

Finally, the orgasm of a couple or a partner duo finds its shared balance in communication, listening, empathy and understanding of oneself and of the other.

Here are the keys to the duration of the couple and its harmony in bed as for life!