The importance of sleep for a fulfilling sexual and intimate life

In our lives, sleep represents a third of the time of our existence. This irrepressible need to sleep is one of our vital needs, to continue leading a healthy life both physically and mentally.

We can envisage an existence where sex life would be reduced, unsatisfactory or even non-existent, but it would be difficult or downright impossible to envisage an existence devoid of more or less regular sleep. To deprive yourself of it would even amount to torture which would lead to dementia.

We know that regenerating sleep is one of the synequanon conditions for good health. But what about its influence on our intimate life and our sexuality? What is the impact of sleep on life as a couple? On March 15, World Sleep Day, this is the question we asked ourselves in this blog article.



Sleep or make love? A not necessarily obvious dilemma that many couples who find themselves on the pillow ask themselves, after a long day spent at work, managing daily tasks and their individual activities. Obviously the answer varies from one day to the next, from one week to the next, and even from one month to the next, since sexual desire is not activated on command or on a decision taken at moment T, and depends on so many other factors such as physical or emotional fatigue, mental load, the mood of each partner, their psychological availability to make love .

Americans surveyed by the association The Better Sleep Council in the United States decided: 60% prefer to sleep, compared to 40% who prefer to make love , results that can be found published on the association's website . It's not about making a choice between the two (either sleep or making love for the rest of your life, no, we're not that masochistic), but about finding a balance so that both activities are mutually beneficial .

Two psychologists from the University of Berkeley say: "When people sleep poorly, they have more difficulty evaluating their partner's feelings and their partner in turn has difficulty evaluating their emotions." This suggests that lack of sleep would thus harm the balance of the couple , and the establishment of clear communication about their feelings, their emotional state, and would thus facilitate abstinence from sexual activity. We must keep in mind that engaging in sexual activity with your partner means being available to receive and give pleasure, to fully immerse yourself in this moment of intimacy, and (to) offer yourself this moment, to oneself and to the other. It therefore seems essential that one must be sufficiently rested, with a tranquil mind that is ready to welcome this moment, to share it fully.


Sleeping well as a couple, whether you have a separate bedroom or both partners sleep together, means participating in a balanced, harmonious, strengthened intimate life . As we explained in our blog article “The influence of Feng Shui on our sexual and love life” , in which we give you some tips for making your bedroom a sanctuary of love, the sleeping area of your place of residence should absolutely not be neglected in order to preserve a healthy and solid relationship.
Thus, a restorative good night favors better vaginal lubrication , and helps women to maintain a good balance of their intimate flora and to avoid all the little intimate discomforts of everyday life that we may face. Having a sufficiently rested mind and body means increasing the quality of your lifestyle and allowing your body to effectively remedy intimate discomfort .
In the male body, paradoxical sleep leads to the production of a large quantity of testosterone ; thus, poor quality or insufficient quantity of sleep could lead to a drop in the production of the arousal hormone in men, to the point of reducing their sexual appetite.


Is there a difference in the need for sleep between men and women ? Is this difference in need for sleep linked to the difference in libido in heterosexual couples? Researchers at Duke University in North Carolina conducted a study, reported by The Australian , which proves that women generally need more sleep than men . Scientists agree that women's brains are more stressed during the day, and therefore need more regeneration at night. In addition, a lack of sleep could cause pathologies in women that it does not cause in men (or to a lesser extent), such as depression, irritability or the development of a psychological imbalance . Thus, what affects the balance of women's health also influences women's intimacy and sexuality.

An American study conducted by Mayo Clinic, published in the journal Menopause, looked at women's sexuality by questioning 3,500 participants. From this study, it appears that poor sleep quality increases the risk of significant sexual dysfunction by 48% . In other words, if the woman does not sleep well, she may have a drop in libido, difficulty reaching orgasm, or experience pain during penetration due to a lack of lubrication or mechanical unavailability of the body. At the same time, insufficient quality sleep can accentuate the development of anxiety and depression , with physical and mental repercussions that affect sexuality.

Another American study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reveals that an extra hour of sleep would boost libido and sexual desire in women . Indeed, this study establishes that this extra hour of rest would increase the chances of a woman sleeping with her partner the following night by 14% . The reasons would be multiple, since we know that sleep helps women to be more willing to experience this intimate moment, to be in better shape, to be more easily in the “mood to make love”. In any case, this study confirms the crucial importance of sleep for a fulfilling female sex life .


During menopause, sleep problems increase, and they are most common among postmenopausal women . This lack of sleep leads to a range of negative health outcomes for women, including the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure and depression, as well as a significant reduction in sexual desire. The Women's Health Initiative , part of the United States government institutions, conducted a study on the health of postmenopausal women, an analysis published in the journal Menopause .

The study was carried out on a large panel of 93,668 women aged 50 to 79, to measure their sexual activity and the characteristics of their sleep.

· 56% reported being satisfied with their current sexual activity, and 52% reported having engaged in sexual activity with a partner during the year.

· 31% reported being affected by insomnia , who also said it could affect their sexual satisfaction .
· Short sleep duration (less than 7 hours) has been associated with a reduction in partnered sexual activity .

Conclusion, short sleep durations and high frequencies of insomnia contribute to reducing sexual activity , which suggests the importance of having quality sleep, especially in women going through menopause and during the years, so that sexual satisfaction can be felt. Want to know more about sex life during menopause ? We have dedicated a blog article to it: “Menopause, a turning point in women’s lives to be taken calmly” .

For decades, several studies have succeeded in proving it: sleep and libido are closely linked and also dependent on each other. Good quality sleep is essential for balanced health, whether it is our mental, physical but also intimate health.

Let us not neglect the importance of good quality sleep, but also the needs of each person which differ according to lifestyle and also, as we have seen, between men and women.