Tantra for all is the leitmotif of our end of the year at YESforLOV! Going back slowly and "Western style", to the origins of Tantrism coming straight from India and the Tibetan highlands of the Himalayas, modern Tantra imposes itself on us as a new royal road to find harmony. internally in the couple, to flourish on a personal basis in solo and finally live his life as intensely as possible.

Modern tantra is incredibly rich in its three dimensions: sex, heart and head, with at the end of this mysterious intimate journey to be done alone and much better as a duo, this very strong link between the body and the soul. spirit that highlights so much a quality of presence and consciousness that is not only physical but also psychic and even spiritual for the most motivated. To these three dimensions, add three keys: breathing, movement, sound and you completely rock your sex life, which is a little too routine. New sensations, unprecedented connection with the other, of the psyche that dares to enter the field of purely physical love without devaluing it, that's not nothing! It is fabulous! There is however no eroticism at all in tantric sex and its massages despite their rather sensual connotation! It's much more than that! Surprising to admit but it's really about sex and sexual energy and without taking action! it's just as much “tantra” massages, much more “spiritual than sexual” and done very gently, very slowly, at the antipodes of our traditional lambda massages of our already slightly sexy daily life.

Mass is said and well said! Now is the time to act and make the right wellness choices! It is true that tantric sex with its massages is a hell of a challenge to undertake and to win, it is a bet of love, esteem and respect vis-à-vis oneself first of all but also vis-à-vis the other ! No fear on the horizon, nothing to worry about! YESforLOV and its lubricating gels and massage candles will gladly accompany you in this new love affair.

Tantric sex and tantric love? How it works ?

Tantrism. Quesaco!
So what is hiding behind this somewhat enigmatic word?
Nothing complicated, dear readers! and be reassured, it's not sex for great sages or enlightened people! Tantra is a very old philosophy straight out of the Himalayan-Indian region. Within it, Hindu, Buddhist and Taoist influences! Not more, not less either!

Tantra: from Tan (our western whole) and from Tra (to weave). It is also the conjunction of two Sanskrit words: Tanoti which means expansion and Trayati which means liberation! For all of us Westerners, then, tantra is, after all, a mixture of expansion and liberation. It is therefore up to everyone, in the West of our world, to acquire their own truth and adapt it as they see fit to our most accomplished desires to love.

Let's take the plunge, it will only be clearer and let's dwell on this spiritual current that is tantra! Originally, these are only texts, doctrines, rituals made up of rules and based on the use of all the positive energies that animate every human being. Tantra therefore imposes itself as a rigorous discipline which requires, between sexuality and spirituality, an important work on oneself. State of awakening at the source, it is a real art of living and loving , a return in oneself and for oneself, a momentum for two towards each other.

No direct relation to sex? A little all the same if not more under conditions! It is indeed the sexualization of the ritual which is in the first line, no evasion to be hoped for and that is very good!
To read about it: Gordon White David in his “Kiss of the Yogini”.

For us Westerners, this ritual can be translated without much margin of error into a set of rules, techniques, practices that aim to promote the release of sexual energies but also to sharpen and deepen one's own consciousness , thus constituting a powerful connection between body and mind.

Tantra advocates a deep awakening of consciousness and the search for absolute plenitude, accessible thanks to the union of feminine and masculine polarities (yin and your yang!), thanks also to the work to be done on the chakras, these seven very well identified energy points in our body. And in tantra, all that energy is sexual energy! The latter walks around with a very pretty name, Kundalini , and its symbol is a serpent coiled at the level of the sacrum, at the base of the spine and Muladhara, the anchor point of the first chakra.

The major objective of tantric massage is to unblock all this sexual energy and to bring it up along the spine to the skull so that the whole body can benefit from it. This famous sexual energy of the human being has for pillar (and it is its base chakra!) the perineum and diffuses up to the seventh chakra, in this crown which is located above the skull.

To put tantra into practice is to leave the sexuality that we almost all know: exit then the performance and the penetration in a hurry! Make way for the ritual dance that Shiva and Shakti do so well in the tantric tradition to affirm their divine union!

We are not here in the desire to make love and in the enjoyment that we expect from it, we are in ecstasy and the latter is as much sensory as it is bodily and spiritual.

Tantric massage in practice: start our sacred exercises!

There is no legal framework that governs tantric massage. And no more diplomas to practice! So be careful and don't trust charlatans! Get closer to the pros in sex therapy to inform you, they will be very useful to you so that you make the most judicious choices (Reputable massage workshops if there is no other alternative for solo massage and priority given if possible to the duo massage “at home”).

Tantric massage does not replace medicine or physiotherapy! There is also a golden rule in tantra: whatever massage exercise is practiced in an outdoor workshop, everything is done without sexual projection. It's crisp and clear! Making love will therefore be for later: it is high time to say goodbye to this somewhat particular atmosphere and its bestial sex smells that we all know, to return to the true philosophy of tantra so that you can benefit of all its benefits! The time has therefore come to reconnect with oneself and with the other and to live intensely the present moment in absolute silence. Only visible presence: the gaze of one … and the other!

Some practical exercises to build your confidence:

1- In preliminaries, the ritual! Essential in Tantra.

Sit down together in the room that you appreciate the most: or in a corner of the house that seems to you the most favorable to letting go and relaxing , to this connection that you are looking for and that everyday life forbids you too much often. It's the magic and opportune moment to turn on your LOV'space perfume diffuser which will offer you a subdued light and soft and sensual scents in your bedroom! You can also put on music conducive to relaxation. As a bonus, to celebrate the event before the hour, give yourself a “Namaste”, this Indian greeting that we also encounter in the cozy setting of yoga.

Get closer to your partner to better open yourselves towards the same goal: to feel in silence really close to each other in thought, Sit down opposite each other, cross-legged on the carpet. We brush against each other without touching, we don't cheat! Give to this unknown, blessed, unique time which begins at this moment, all the importance and the future that it deserves. Either way, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and take your own gaze within yourself. Focus on your personal space . Silence is golden

Repeat this experience several times if you feel the need. Finally open your eyes and meet your partner's gaze. A first victory is at the end of this first journey: tears at the key? giggles? uncertain smiles? What does it matter! No chatter but there is the mute gaze of one towards the other and an incredible connection which is established in full freedom of bodies and hearts!

2- The perineum in the first line.

The perineum is the base of the sexual energy. Be aware of this, it is vital! So, get to work! Pamper him madam, in your own way, with deep and regular breathing. Remind sir if necessary that he too has a perineum to train on his side! Both perineums are a couple's affair! If you want to tone your perineum , we have concocted a lot of exercises for you with our geisha ball available in this article .

Beyond the tantric massage, the perineum retains its full place in the heterosexual relationship that we will qualify as conventional to simplify: by contracting his perineum, the gentleman frees his penis which rises; Madame for her part, by contracting her own perineum, nicely encloses her partner's penis. Movement of choice almost motionless but so strong in intensity!

Last little recommendation: do not forget, madam, to relax your perineum when you feel the need! Contracting your perineum is great, but relaxing it is just as important!

3 – Bingo, enjoy the benefits of duo massages.

Totally naked, stage your home tantric massage session in the most playful way possible. It's complete “made in” coming straight from oneself and from the other! Choose a good quality lubricating massage oil and massage each other all over your body, gender included! The INTEGRAL LUBRICANT MASSAGE with its intoxicating fragrance will fully accompany you on this spiritual journey. This massage gel has been specially designed for tantric sex with its wonderful lubricating effect and cashmere touch.

Preferably do your initiation to tantric massage together, learn to massage each other without outside help from a professional tantra! And don't forget that there is no reciprocity: he (or she) who is about to massage the other does not wait his turn, he (or she) gives for the sole well-being of the 'other ! The massaged person then takes full advantage of all these moments of total well-being, discovers or rediscovers their own forgotten or abandoned erogenous zones. We are there at the other end of forced coitus sex, of sex that dreams of orgasm! It is a much deeper and more intimate relaxation that awaits you both!

In tantrism, all parts of the body are sacred : sex is therefore not taboo in tantric massage! There are no more obligations for him to participate! Tantric massage is done gently, slowly, at the convenience of the partners, integrated or covered sex, total or partial nudity!

Tantric massage can also be done solo with the help of a specialist in the field! It's up to you to trust the rigorous and competent pro or pro who will seem to live up to your aspirations!

Photos by @kool-shooters

Our YESforLOV candles and massage oils for tantric sex:

Tantra to liberate one's too restrained personal sexuality that one drags like a ball and chain? Why not? There is nothing incongruous in this bold approach!

This total surrender to body and mind is boundless happiness! Sacred journey outside through sex, inside through the mind that you will have to prepare carefully if you decide to take the plunge into the unknown of true feelings.

Your own breathing, slow and deep, surfing on unprecedented waves, then becomes the silent motor that will make you live fully and as if by magic the present moment without eroticizing it! With a bit of Buddhism on the lips and without shouting big scary words, it is to a sexual meditation that is astonishing in its content and its rigor that we invite you, dear readers!

From romantic adventure to romantic adventure, YESforLOV is of course at your side to accompany you on this journey of tantric sex, which is a little spiritual or much more depending on your affinities and which temporarily deprives you of the ultimate pleasure! Huge isn't this bet to take up! Make the wise choice ofour massage oils based on natural ingredients and enriched with terribly aphrodisiac fragrances, of our massage lubricants specially tested on reconstituted mucous membranes. YESforLOV cosmetics for tantra sex are of high quality and are so many nuggets that will open you up and brightly and warmly illuminate this path to total well-being. And for unrestrained letting go, dare to add a drop of our CBD concentrate .

You can also say yes to tantric sex and massage with our massage candles as a beacon of your future happiness! Agree to put a little spirituality in your sexuality, it's perfectly compatible!

For total happiness through barrier-free pleasure, say yes to tantric sex and massage! Successful reconnection to this land that saw you born, to this nature that we abandon too quickly! Last tip: this tantric massage without taboos, you do it together at home: it's great and you bring somewhere “at home” a certain nobility to the playful side of this pleasure of love that is often too routine.

Tantra is much more than a philosophical current, it is at the heart of our sentimental life, an astonishing ancestral technique of sincerity, depth, self-esteem and esteem for others. It's up to all of you to imagine, to invent, to live, dear readers, this space of well-being “of body and mind” made of total freedom in the body as in the heart!


- Site Nathalie Giraud Desforges , sex therapist, couple therapist and tantra workshop facilitator
- “Dare tantric sex” by Michèle Larue.