Hypersensitivity: an ultra-trendy term of recent years, used haphazardly to designate either a person who bursts into tears in front of a one-eyed teddy bear or who starts screaming in front of an open tube of toothpaste. However, hypersensitivity is a much richer and more complex temperament than that which impacts all areas of life.
Yes, perfectly, since you don't put your left arm down before going to bed (it would be much easier to sleep without tingling, we agree!), hypersensitive people don't leave their sensitivity to the entrance to their bedroom.
But who are these hypersensitive? These people who are frequently criticized for thinking too much, loving too much or doing too much. These people in whom everything is stronger, even too strong in the eyes of others.
In reality, they are simply endowed with a sensitivity higher than the average. They capture the world with their senses and emotions. And in love everything is increased tenfold. So how do you deal with this overflow of sensations without being overwhelmed or overwhelming the other? Whether you are sensitive, hypersensitive or whether your partner is, I suggest that you adjust the rhythm of your sensitivities in four steps; they will thus combine in a soft and harmonious symphony with several hands.
Make your senses vibrate
HyperSENSIBLES, as the name suggests, are usually endowed with one or more highly receptive senses . They act a bit like a parabola that captures a multitude of simultaneous information. So it's not easy for their brains to process everything at once. It is therefore not uncommon for a hypersensitive person to be bothered by a light, the flickering of a candle, a particular smell, a mouth noise, a repetitive sound, a texture, or even an overly strong taste. .
Sometimes they have a little Sherlock side to spot and analyze everything: the smell of barbecue in their partner's hair, the unusual shoes he.she wears, the new expression he.she doesn't have. not used to using... You might think that these are real freak controls, but that's not necessarily the case. Just where the non-hypersensitive would not notice anything, they pay close attention to detail as their sensory sensors receive more information . And that's good because in sexuality, our 5 senses are awake !
It's up to you to leave out little details that could excite her curiosity and more... Surprise her with gourmet oil to discover a new pleasure, or very soft outfits, diffuse essential oils that he. she likes, sprinkle your sheets with a light pillow mist , gently touch her skin with the caressing feather ...
In intimacy, the slightest detail can have an exciting effect or, on the contrary, cause a complete flop: the fabric of the sheets, the smell of one or the other or of the place where you are, the choice of music, touch and sensations that if too strong can cause him to feel pain. If this is the case, it is better to stop the report immediately, at the risk that the brain associates sexuality with suffering. Some hypersensitive people feel a lot of apprehension before or during intercourse. For others, it is their body that speaks by creating vaginal dryness, contractions or pain on penetration such as vaginismus and dyspareunia. In addition to listening to your body, we can recommend the "Comfort and protection of the vulva and penis" intimate serum .
As you will have understood, it will all be a question of the right dosage. If everything is well balanced, then the pleasure will only be increased tenfold. If not, then harmony may be harder to find, but never impossible.
Go from bass to treble
The hypersensitive are also endowed with great emotivity . They can go from laughter to tears and generally feel stronger and longer emotions , in situations that do not make others react. This temperament is sometimes very destabilizing for the partner who is perhaps in a more constant mood.
Stop misconceptions, hypersensitivity is neither madness, nor bipolarity, nor due to poor management of one's emotions . Again, it's a temperament . Like the Monsieur Madame books that may have rocked your childhood or those of your children, when a hypersensitive person is sad, he.she is very sad, when he.she is angry, he.she is very angry and when he/she is happy, he/she is very happy and can thus embody different Mr. and Mrs. in a short period of time.
What may seem like a simple detail for a non-hypersensitive person is not for a hypersensitive person and can make him switch from one emotion to another in a few moments . At that point, do n't tell him that he/she is doing too much, he/she will feel attacked in his way of being or end up masking his emotions to the point of not feeling them anymore. On the contrary, take an interest in what he/she is feeling, validate his/her emotion and ask him/her what he/she needs. Let him talk . Then together, find a way to meet their needs without forgetting yours of course. When someone with high sensitivity is in a strong emotional state, don't try to make them rationalize. It's too early. At that moment, there is like a short circuit between his rational brain (neocortex) and his emotional brain (limbic brain) and the information can no longer circulate. Let the “crisis” pass and then help the.la to verbalize the situation.
The magic side of this character trait is that a trifle can make him very happy , like a sunset, a butterfly, a good hot chocolate, music, a word whispered in the hollow of his ear, a massage with sensual massage oils , her favorite dessert, special attention...
Exchange your instructions to identify what allows you to be in good energy. So you will each have resources to switch or make the other switch into pleasant emotions such as joy, laughter, excitement...
Harmonize your sounds without duplicating them
One of the hypersensitive's superpowers is their empathy . Endowed with a great ability to listen , he knows how to put himself in the other's shoes and generally likes to listen to the other with a high level of attention. This benevolent listening makes it possible to establish a climate of trust conducive to deep and authentic exchanges.
All the difficulty of the hypersensitive lies in the fact that he/she feels what the other feels to the point of becoming one with all their emotions. He/she no longer knows what comes from an internal or external emotion.
He/she does not need to speak to know that his/her partner is upset, stressed or excited and can within minutes become him/herself also upset, stressed, excited .e...
So it may be binding. When one needs the other to cheer them up or change their minds, the hypersensitive will tend to take their stress and stress with them.
In intimacy, this can be hindering or encouraging. If he/she feels you are very turned on, his/her excitement will only be more intense. He.she may even be able to communicate it to you to increase it even more. On the other hand, if he/she feels you are concerned, it will instantly cut him/her off from the present moment and your concerns will become theirs.
The stream of thoughts
Watch out for interference
Know that the brain of a hypersensitive person is busier than the highway on a Saturday during school holidays. It circulates, it jams, it gets angry, it honks, it never stops. And this is normal since his senses perceive more information. Where the brain of non-hypersensitive people acts as a filter system that lets in only important information, the sensory sensors of hypersensitive people transmit everything to the brain which analyzes and then sorts the information one by one manually. Everything is analysed, interpreted, dissected...
If you leave your sneakers lying around, your partner will see them, will record that today you did sports, that therefore tomorrow you may not do them and that then he can offer you a romantic evening. And that is for the pleasant part of the operation.
Many hypersensitive people ask themselves constant questions about their relationship , even when everything is going well. Is this the right one for me? Will our story last? When he.she says that, I'm not sure that he.she corresponds to me. Am I up to it? Do I deserve someone like him.her? Can I tell him that it doesn't suit me without hurting him or starting a conflict? Yes, because hypersensitive people hate conflict . Without wishing to generalize of course, but they tend to avoid them and can sometimes resort to over-adaptation. They do or say what they think the other wants them to do or hear. This unconscious mechanism then becomes a natural function of the hypersensitive to the point of completely merging with his/her partner and losing his/her own personality.
In intimacy, the hypersensitive's constant flow of thoughts makes it difficult for them to disconnect their brain to take full advantage of the present moment. Thus, in the middle of a sexual act, he.she can start thinking about the file he.she must return, the information he.she must transmit to the neighbor, while thinking about what to eat next and thinking asking if his/her partner would take pleasure rather like this or like that. For that, we did not find the off button, but the CBD concentrate to help relax and release, soothe tensions and potential pains of body and mind.
With the satin black headband you can also reduce the visual information received by your partner. He/she will thus be able to concentrate on the touch and succeed in letting go more easily. And if he.she likes podcasts, there's nothing like listening to one at the same time or telling him your own erotic stories.
Hypersensitivity is not a disease. Just as you may be shy, talkative, or curious, you may be hypersensitive, have one or more highly receptive senses, strong emotions, empathy, and overflowing thoughts. Until then, nothing prevents you from living or blossoming sentimentally speaking.
As always the basis of everything is communication. The rest is simply a question of accuracy and precision in the adjustments. Too fast or too slow a pace will take your hypersensitive partner out of the present moment. Of a very empathetic nature, he/she needs to feel listened to, understood and considered.
You are in a playful mood, let him choose the music, offer him a bath with the shower gel of his choice, ask him to create the atmosphere he/she wants with the lighting... Thus, he/she will set up the universe in which he/she feels good. Learn to identify what he/she likes in order to put him/her in ideal conditions for him/her and for you.
And above all, explore yourself. Each sexuality is unique. It's up to you to create yours.