TOO MUCH STRESS KILLS SEX!

What is the influence of stress on our sexuality? Isn't sex the best anti-stress? Fad or evil of the century, stress is often accused of all evils and yet this episodic or chronic aggressor has two faces. Stress is harmful to sexual health when it is excessive or badly experienced, but in small doses, it can be a precious ally. Everyone has their own strategy to manage this excessive stress. You can opt for recognized practices that have proven themselves: yoga, relaxation, meditation, massage or simply a good walk and a return to nature in a green setting. The most important thing to keep in mind is not to let stress get in the way of your enjoyment and threaten your sexuality. Want to continue reading, YESforLOV gives you the keys to overcoming your sexual anxiety and explains the effects of stress on sexuality.

What are the effects of stress on our libido?

Love is not just a feeling, it is also an embrace and a state of mind: Alas! Human beings - and mostly men - let themselves be overwhelmed by their desires, their emotions and in the cult of orgasm that they wrongly encourage, they live in a busy time and their quest for sex quickly turns into a disaster. 'obsession. This is sure failure and the beginning of stress.

The harmful effects of stress pushed to its climax by lack of lucidity and personality have a considerable influence on our psychological state but also our sexuality. Sexuality is not just a question of performance: you don't achieve it like you win a medal at the Olympic Games! Making love is letting go , relaxing and forgetting all the hassles of everyday life. The race to orgasm in the pursuit of physical happiness is anything but a race for productivity or excellence.

Photos by@anthonytran

Sexual desire has no age, but that doesn't mean that we should hide the reality of our sexuality, which is inexorably impoverished over the years. It is therefore not surprising to see, especially in the couple, stress rush uninvited into the mysteries of daily life and blow hard on the embers of hassles , misunderstandings , disputes and conflicts. Stress puts us under tension , denies our desires, clutters our minds and can prevent us from focusing on our sexual pleasures.

The physical and psychological integrity of a person who is frequently confronted with too much stress is no longer regulated as it should be, which therefore triggers an imbalance in our reaction capacities: The power of seduction is reduced, sexual breakdowns follow one another, frustrations of all kinds end up creating an imbalance within her that is particularly hard to accept.

The sudden drop in sexual desire is indicative of a well-being weakened by stress; a less active love life, sex that is becoming rarer, a lack of creativity in lovemaking and more difficulties in accessing pleasure. In short, it is total dissatisfaction which then predominates in a sexuality which nevertheless only asks to flourish.

This failure in the face of omnipresent stress cannot be attributed solely to the effects of natural organic aging. High-dose stress is much more than anxiety, that legitimate emotion that grips us in the face of danger. Contrary to the latter, stress arouses stronger or even dangerous emotions when it is excessive: stress of joy and surprise, stress of sadness, depressive stress, stress of anxiety and fear, but also stress of “fuck badly” and not being “up to par” for the man, stress of lack and disappointment for the woman.

Why can stress be harmful in sexuality?

The harmful effects of stress are exercised both on the body and on the mind: the usual behavior is disrupted, the psyche severely affected. Stress acts with incredible force on the whole body: the alarm sounded, the attacked organism mobilizes, the brain wakes up, breathing quickens, the pulse beats wildly and the adrenal glands send a little energy. 'adrenaline. This stress is not our enemy, on the contrary it is a source of positive emotions . The body comes into resistance and mobilizes new energies: these same adrenal glands, fully solicited, secrete cortisol called to regulate the metabolism. The production of testosterone in men and estrogen in women is vital and poses no problem when both are at full physical and mental capacity. In cases of excessive stress , the production of the steroid hormone, pregnenolone , is destabilized or even significantly affected; instead of converting into sex hormones, it turns into corticol which is the stress hormone. A level of corticol that is too high compared to the level of testosterone and estrogen causes the libido to drop with the consequences that we know : erection difficulties at a minimum in men, total disappearance of sexual desire in women. Envy, desire, the ability to enjoy, the pleasure of loving vanish...

High-dose stress is the explosion of a sexuality that is going to fail and a source of exhaustion for organisms that can no longer assume. The brain, the heart, the intestines are weakened; fatigue, anxiety, fears of losing everything are there that we did not plan but involuntarily fashioned from scratch...

How do you deal with too much stress?

No one escapes stress, but not all stress is necessarily bad. Stress is life! It is beneficial when it is synonymous with energy; on the other hand, it becomes really harmful when it exhausts us.

 Multiple emotions stimulate us: they are visual, sound, intellectual, sexual and they are the very positive emotions of pleasure. We often go in our daily life to encounter other more disturbing emotions but which are essential to us because they allow us to react in a healthy way to the heaviest situations (work and metro before bedtime) and the most unexpected (the troubles of all kinds). The danger that awaits us is this very unwilling overexposure to stress, unless you are a masochist!

In the scale of life events drawn up according to the degree of stress by Holmès and Rahé , the death of the spouse or of a close relative, divorce or separation are of a very high level of stress. To a lesser degree, worries on the professional level, job loss, retirement and sexual difficulties remain a level of stress that is still high.

 “There is no good or bad stress. There are only individuals who manage a given situation more or less well”.
(Doctor Eric Albert. Anxiety and stress specialist)

Sex, the best anti-stress remedy!

Dealing with too much stress that we can no longer control is a personal challenge to take up before it becomes a fight for life. The game is worth the candle! It is not easy indeed to make disappear as by magic the multiple factors which support the stresses impossible to circumvent in our existence: the diseases with the long course, the financial worries. Conflicts, by accumulating, weaken our physical and psychological resistance. However, we all have the opportunity to manage our own stress well without resorting to comfort or laziness to anti-stress drugs such as tranquilizers and antidepressants. There are always alternative ways to relieve suffering somewhere: tantric massageswith our massage oils and candles , acupuncture, yoga, relaxation, meditation. This new sexuality finally requires a rebalanced lifestyle to match our love ambitions: respect, sleep needs, the practice of an adapted sport, quality food , an essential distance from events. Last essential point: finding a smile no matter what and laughing out loud, that would be even better!

To be more complete, we must not forget that loving sex too much is a disease that has a name: hypersexuality . It concerns all those who think only of themselves! We could easily put most of the greatest seducers of this world there if the reality were not so dark. The almost continuous and irrepressible desire to “consume sex at all costs” ends up killing love. So get out of this excessive stress to love better and stronger! To be madly in love? It's a yes! Do you really want to make love? It's still yes! But above all, no compulsive and obsessive sexuality!

Eh yes! The more sex you have, the less stress you will be! The bet is on the game table. Making love again will then replace all the anxiolytics in the world, by releasing hormones such as dopamine (pleasure molecules), endorphin (natural painkillers), serotonin (hormone happiness), oxytocin (anxiety and stress reducer and moreover amplifier of attachment within the couple) … and many more. A nice romantic cocktail to breathe new life into your relationship!

Sex therapists and doctors recommend making love once or twice a week to fully experience all the anti-stress effects of sex. For our singles, nothing to worry about, masturbation is beneficial both for the immune system and for a significant drop in cortisol production.

Mark your calendars for a party that remains by far the best remedy for our troubles of all kinds. Love rituals are unavoidable, whatever the contrary events.