MATERNITY AND SEXUALITY: A COUPLE BET TO WIN

How to maintain a loving connection and maintain the reciprocity of desires in the couple during pregnancy and the postpartum period? Asking yourself this delicate question together means trying to face it as frankly as possible because many more or less controlled elements will come to upset your daily life and your life as a couple. 

Pregnancy is primarily a woman's affair because it is indeed a somewhat complex period for her, even very complicated at times. The couple, as close-knit as it may be, should not take this period of pregnancy followed by postpartum, which is still just as difficult to live with, postpartum in Latin mode, lightly. Nothing is simple in the end in motherhood, you have to learn to love yourself to love the other even stronger. Maternity is a revolution in the body, in the soul and each woman has her own story, her path, her difficulties, her anger, her desires, her desires. The woman is put to the test from the moment she learns of her pregnancy. How can the couple cope with these changes? How can the couple reinvent themselves after the birth of the baby? Wouldn't everything ultimately be a matter of patience, common sense and love to preserve? 

It is therefore not useless to come back for a ride in this period of love which mixes pell-mell as many joys as fears, love as heartaches.  Dear readers, you will have to act so as not to miss this turning point in your life as young adults, in your life as a woman and a man in a relationship in search of family happiness at the highest! The woman in all her radiance who becomes a mother, the man in all his virility who becomes a father, it's not nothing and your couple must go all out.  What a promising bet to take and hold over time, provided that sex and love are the driving force!

Sex and cuddling under the duvet during pregnancy

What to expect "sex-wise" during the first months of pregnancy?

Hugs during pregnancy are good for the health of the future mother!

During the first trimester of pregnancy, Madame, you secrete excellent hormones that can help you feel a little sexier. Gentlemen, we will have to make the most of it and not miss any slot.

No need to fear in the couple for such a promising start except for a slightly lower libido and quite understandable “slacks”.

Of course, you will have significant mood swings on the sex side, mainly due to hormonal fluctuations throughout your body. You will have to manage them as well as possible and in complete complicity with your partner; it is also up to him to adapt , to accept you sometimes like a lioness in heat, sometimes like a groundhog who has decided to hibernate.

During the first few months, your libido may be lower because of that unwelcome morning sickness, that tiresome fatigue, all those recurring headaches, sore breasts and the urgent need to pee. It 's life, it 's the sex of the moment, it 's love to be shared differently.

It 's up to you two to integrate with serenity all these fears mixed with hope on the eve of a future yet so promising! Unless you have an ideal course, you will have some temporary annoyances in these first months of pregnancy for pleasures that are too often subject to restriction.

What to expect "sex-wise" during the second trimester of pregnancy?

Do not panic ! Sexual desire can resume in the second trimester , from the 3rd or 4th month of pregnancy because the estrogens produced by the placenta will give a boost to your libido at half mast.

You are permanently in a state close to that of sexual excitement, you are more sensitive and receptive to caresses. Hug cravings multiply and pleasure gains in intensity, sometimes offering some pregnant women the opportunity to experience their first orgasm.

It's up to you gentlemen and ladies to enjoy the joys of penetration with our intimate lubricant and our range of YESforLOV intimate cosmetics for pregnant women !

What to expect "sex-wise" during the last months of pregnancy?

In the last trimester , a few unexpected surprises come to disturb you: small, minor bleeding, too sudden penetration of the gentleman's penis.

And then, over too long a time , the impossibility of revisiting the Kàma Sùtra with this little treasure that is preparing to make a sensational entry into your life.

A nod to the Kàma Sùtra and one of its best positions recommended for pregnant women: 
the position of the horsewoman or the reverse horsewoman (your man lies on his back and you sit on him from the front or from the back)

Young parents, in this final period, it will then be an opportunity for both of you to wisely review your favorite positions and explore new, unpublished, less conventional and less risky ones.

It's up to you two to replay the game in other forms of pleasure that your overflowing imagination and your common love will not fail to bring you.

Try Slow Sex ,  give each other a ton of tenderness with our caress pen that only asks for it, treat yourself and him to brand new love, surprising cuddling times for a sexuality that has become slower and more gentle.

Your baby, well sheltered in his mother 's womb, is perfectly protected by the amniotic membranes and the liquid that surrounds him. As for the mucus plug that closes the cervix , it is your security barrier against any risk of infection . 

You understood it's a go for all the hugs in the world that will come to brighten up your pregnancy. 

If , on the other hand, your pregnancy turns out to be at risk , it is wisdom in the ordeal that must prevail over your very legitimate desires to make love . Hard hard. But we must never forget that pregnancy lasts only a time for the birth of a lifetime.

A little tip to exchange with your gynecologist if you are worried about going beyond the term : please, it will be hugs galore so that the prostaglandins from your beloved's sperm come to help the opening of the cervix and the onset of contractions. It will also be a very nice snub to the abstinence of the first difficult months .

"A happy Italian outcome " ? Fake news, or not. Aren't more and more doctors encouraging sexual relations at the very end of pregnancy to hasten the onset of labor? 

Note, to restore some freedom, that there is no link between sexual intercourse and the risk of miscarriage: 70% of early miscarriages are linked to a chromosomal abnormality of the fetus.

Last point for you gentlemen:  do not panic in case of a slack, you are not the only one to be destabilized by this situation. No longer having your lover in front of you but the mother of your future child is still a big change. Talk to her, ask her questions, tell her straight out how you feel. Communication is the only key word to restore a joyful and complicit sexuality during this wonderful stage in the life of a couple.

After cuddling and the postpartum period: what to expect?

The arrival of a child is an unprecedented upheaval in the life of the couple. Habits, desires to make love suffer, run out of steam and sometimes disappear.

It's a new life that settles in the house and it will be necessary for the lovers who have become parents very quickly to adapt to it without submitting to it...

The couple being by nature a small mountain of reciprocal concessions to be climbed in order to better descend it, the time has come to find intelligent compromises of life and love ... 

And it is the communication in the couple which must take precedence and not black on white writings which would end up making columns of uncertain figures, useless words and probably the establishment of a calendar or agenda of all the dangers with what is possible and what is not.

Priority will therefore be given to the spontaneity, goodwill, common sense and intelligence of two lovers who have become parents. Above all, do not fall in love without sex out of convenience or indifference.

Of course a couple can perfectly exist without sexuality after the birth of their first child, but it is a delusion on their part to believe that everything is solved as if by magic!

The error can be in the short or medium term fraught with consequences of all kinds. It's not really fun to see two people love each other without taking the time to play at making love and all that because the baby has suddenly taken up all the space!

Choice of couple or choice imposed by one or the other, failure is all too often at the end of the road... 

So, what sexual relationship is possible after childbirth? 

Many doctors recommend abstinence from sexual intercourse for at least 6 weeks , the time needed for the cervix to close satisfactorily. It will therefore be dead calm for lovers on the sex side for several months, which will have the advantage of greatly limiting the risk of infection of the mother's internal mucosa. Level resumption of sexuality, it is much more reassuring and comforting that it is the wisdom of the mother who regulates difficult concern in intimacy. It is up to the mother to respond to this delicate problem of gradual and intelligent resumption of sexual relations in the couple. The woman remains mistress on board the boat of love and she will know when the time comes show up in the most beautiful way when his desire to make love again comes to the fore. 

Ladies, give yourself back the desire to want! You have some very nice cards in your hands and the game is really worth the effort. At the end of this somewhat complicated period, it is true, the happiness of being young parents while remaining lifelong lovers.

The references of women at the top of their art of loving while being mothers are multiple, of incredible diversity and of exceptional quality: in the world of high-level sport as well as in the world of culture, in the world of Health as in the world of Business, in everyday life whether urban or rural, we can easily meet  women who deserve our respect and who are our pride.

So, yes, the postpartum is something quite different from what the dictionary medicine wants to give. A very simple period of pregnancy which would start at the exit of the placenta until the return of layers? Oh no, it's much more, it's an impressive upheaval in the life of the woman and this physical, emotional and moral upheaval, it is alone with herself that the young mother lives it intensely at the birth of her child.

“We need to help women live their pregnancy and their sexuality,
we must help men to live their status as fathers and lovers” *
(M.Ganem)

All is not rosy far from there in the postpartum since depression still too often awaits the young mother who is isolated or helpless in the face of her loss of bearings and identity. 

A hormonal change takes place in parallel with the psychological upheaval associated with birth. Indeed, in the postpartum period , the level of hormones in women drops inexorably and in high proportions.

If the woman is breastfeeding, prolactin inhibits the production of ovarian hormones and the libido is then no longer stimulated.
Vaginal dryness can set in over time , making romantic relationships uncomfortable and in this same period of time, the mother 's body produces oxytocin which strengthens the mother 's attachment to her child and a significant distance can settle in the parental couple. 

During this period, the woman must learn to reclaim her body both physically (post-pregnancy pounds, rehabilitation of the perineum, cesarean scar, hemorrhoids, etc.) and psychologically in order to engage in a new dialogue. with his partner. Without showing it too much and frankly without saying it, the body and the heart of the woman humbly ask for a little more respect and understanding.

It's up to you, partner of the beloved, to anticipate, guess and accept to see the rhythm of life together slow down and calm down. It is up to you, the beloved of your partner, not to disappoint him, not to take refuge with the baby in an indifference that cannot be comfortable. It's up to you to rebuild a constructive plan of a happiness that is receding... The rest is just literature!

The YESforLOV selection for sensual maternity

In this search for Self love , YESforLOV invites you to slip a few essentials into your special maternity suitcase. Geisha balls to tone your perineum, a moisturizing and healing lubricant to take care of your mucous membranes, a massage candle to relax and take care of your skin, intimate wipes to feel beautiful and fresh and an organic care for the vulva for a providential caress in the most precious of your intimacy.

YESforLOV cosmetics are used in all stages of a woman's life, to the delight of ladies and gentlemen. 

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Between the males and the females who still want to make love, between the men and the women who still love each other just as much, between the dads and the moms who become responsible parents, there is no nothing is impossible in the realm of sex if they nourish each other with the best ingredients in life. Isn't the goal of sexuality ultimately this mad pleasure of making love above all else, without dissociating it from completely legitimate procreation?

Patrice Lopès and François-Xavier Poudat Le Manuel de Sexologie” (Elsevier Masson –Dec.2013 and Jan.2022)
Alice Ferney: The Love Conversation. South Acts -  Dec. 2002)
Doctor Marc Ganem. President of the Society of Clinical Sexology  from 1995 to 2011: Sexual Health and Human Rights.