WHAT IF WE TALK A LITTLE ABOUT BDSM?

BDSM is a catch-all term with a scary acronym “ B ondage Discipline D omination Sadism and M asochism ”! These are harsh words that often refer to the image we have of BDSM: madmen in a dungeon beating themselves up, dicked in latex outfits and screaming in the background. Yeah ! We have all seen the movie “Hostel”. Or more recently at the cinema, in a watered down version of our subject, "50 shades of Grey", with a Christian who proves to us by A+B that as long as you are a billionaire, you can easily have a young woman, the harass her, kidnap her and make her do anything under the pretext that she signed a contract! (That said, it wouldn't have been the same success if our ChriChri didn't have a penny! ). However, this practice has existed since Antiquity (we got whipped because we stole an apple, but also for fun!), an often abstract concept, little known to the general public, which brings together sexual practices or an art of live involving bondage, sado-masochism, domination and submission. Want to know more ? We invite you to continue reading...

What is BDSM good for?

Hop hop, fiery young people that you are! Before throwing yourself on your handcuffs and your whips, I can only strongly advise you to talk about it with your partner beforehand.

If BDSM can restore your self-confidence, strengthen your bonds of belonging with your accomplice, bring your fantasies to life in complete serenity, and allow you to let go of what would allow you to get to know yourself better, communication is the key to success .

We inquire about the state of health of his/her partner, we define the "Safe Words" upstream (a word like "STOP" immediately ends a session regardless of its progress or intensity) or “Safe Gesture” which takes up this same concept but it will suffice to close your fist for the most timid. Because if BDSM seems recreational, it can become very dangerous, with the wrong partner who will carry out psychological pressure: (forced sexual intercourse) or even involuntarily during Shibari sessions (ancestral art of tying a person with bonds), cut off his blood circulation which in excess could lead to the amputation of a limb! Always keep in mind that BDSM is based on a relationship of mutual consent , trust and benevolence. Also to do well, we advise you to find out about various sites such as “ theduchy.com ” rich in tutorials, or enrich your vocabulary on dating sites with “ fetlife ”. Your partner will place his physical and psychological integrity in your hands and that's a huge responsibility.

What you need to know before you start:
It must be understood that everything is interchangeable, a man may be subject to a domina (dominatrix) or a master, a woman may be subject to a master or a domina, and that one can both submit and dominate (these are called "Switches") and that each game can be given or received. It's clear though, isn't it?

How to start in the practice of BDSM?

To start, you can download the "BDSM checklist" , available on any search engine, this list is to be completed by both parties, will help you to know the different sexual practices (which are also found in sex "vanilla" or a so-called traditional sexuality if you prefer), the apparatus (stick, whip, nipple clamps, flogger, lanyard, cross of Saint-André, chastity cage...) as well as the desire, the difficulty or the refusal to carry out such and such an experiment.

It is done ? Alright, we know what we're talking about now!

It's time to equip yourself with erotic accessories adapted to the practice of SM

To start gently, the YESforLOV " KINKY " BDSM box is ideal for getting started. It contains a whip , a cock ring: (ring that is placed at the base of the penis to prolong the duration of the erection while strengthening it), two satin headbands (for bondage), a heat lubricant , as well a cream after spanking to restore its original appearance (to be used without moderation, because yes, the softness of a caress is also part of BDSM just like the after care session).

What outfit to wear during a BDSM session?

If your attitude clearly announces your role, your dress style is also an indicator.

Gentlemen, are you Master? It's up to you to wear the pants and leather or bare-chested waistcoat, adorned with accessories (leather cuffs, studded bracelet, harness), and finally a pair of "New Rock" to complete this outfit, a lanyard attached to the belt ( we need to know which side you are on). If you prefer sobriety, a black shirt and trousers with pleats and moccasins will do the job perfectly.

Are you submissive? The choice is up to your Master / Mistress (you will still have the last word, remember it is a prior agreement) the collar will be common to all, (it is black or red most often) and enhanced with a ring that can be attached to a leash. Naked, disguised as a woman, latex or neoprene mask that can represent an animal (often a pig or a dog), anything that will satisfy your divine Mistress/Master.

As for you ladies, in Domina the leather corset, the vertiginous heels, the tight red latex dress, fishnet stockings. You are a goddess and your submissive needs to see it. Don't forget your whip!

Finally, if you are submissive, the typical underwear: garter belt, corset, gag and of course your necklace signifying your belonging to your Master or Mistress.

A little crush on the Catanzaro house and its creator Patrice who continues his family history by offering you a line of French and high-end clothing for women but also for men.

The codes and customs of the BDSM world:

When you enter a Dungeon (nothing to do with the castle of "Harry Potter"), a place equipped, you find yourself in the presence of other people who practice this philosophy of life occasionally or daily. But be careful, they don't necessarily have the same level as you! During sessions made public, one can witness “ballbusting” (torture of the male genitalia). Does this shock you? You have every right! We look away and move on.

The level of acceptance of pain is just not the same as yours. But in any case, it is forbidden to show your disgust by shouting: "Ugh, that's disgusting!" He took dearly! »

Remember that BDSM is practiced by at least two people, and regardless of the relationship established, everyone must play their role . We won't talk about the laundry that was incorrectly hung, or the problems with the photocopier in the office. Your session is dedicated solely to your art and your pleasure, but also in order to help you maintain a psychological distance from everyday life, formality is almost a necessity to maintain your state of mind.

Your attitude is of paramount importance, the dominant keeps his head up and expresses himself clearly and audibly, it is you who will lead the session, you will be creative in inventing games that will please your submissive/ se. As for you dear submissives, lower your head, hold your hands together in front or behind your back and keep the imposed posture.

Testimony of a BDSM Master "Master J". 25 years of experience.

"For me, BDSM is more than a list of practices, a true art of living which unfailingly unites an already happy couple , and which wishes to flourish on the condition of responding together to the duties and obligations of each, in the safety and above all benevolence.

During a session, it is essential that everyone takes responsibility.

For the dominant:

- Use quality materials. (Flogger, lanyard, spreader, toothed wheel, whip, and various candles , ropes (plan in your inventory for a pair of scissors to cut the ties in the event of an incident)

- Regularly check the physical and psychological state of the partner, offer a wide choice of practices in order to enrich the session and allow the submissive time to rest on the stimulated parts.

I also add that if the person who receives can be exhausted, the physical form of the dominant will not be less solicited, a playlist that both of you like can be a guarantee of stimulation.

For the submitted partner:

- Allow yourself to be guided by the authority of your Master, keeping in mind that you have control over the acts administered to you.

Finally, if your session goes well, it is possible that your partner will enter a trance more commonly known as "Subspace" , a masochistic ecstasy. In this specific case, it is important to reassure her, congratulate her, and respect her time to get out of this state . If this is the case, it is very likely that your session will end like this.

As wild as it seems, BDSM is above all an exchange between two consenting and caring adults, eager to perfect the catalog of their emotions, while allowing them to strengthen their bonds and unite them forever. A question still remains, knowing that the master is ultimately only the instrument of desire dictated by the submissive, we are entitled to ask ourselves the following question. Who is really the Master and who is the submissive?